White coat. Heels.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
