If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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