I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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