He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
