Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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