Me too!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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