508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
