return my video game
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
