He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize