ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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