Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
