I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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