Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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