Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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