He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
