I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize