I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
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In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I want is dick and wine.
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