I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
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