imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
