His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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