Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
