Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
