I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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