Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
