We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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