Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
