he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize