$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
