so let's talk penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize