belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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