i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
