Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want her autograph on my taint
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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