Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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