I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
