did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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