i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
