you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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