Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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