I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Less talking, more tequila
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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