Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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