hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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