Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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