I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
