Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize