I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
