Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
