hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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