Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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