I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
