is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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