I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
