i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
