I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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