there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
