I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
