Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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