I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So much rum. So many feels.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
