So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize