He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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